Everything I'm Not
by Oxymoronic Alliteration
Summary: Tim stews over Ziva's seeming attraction to a new agent. Hangman Prize for Smackalicious!


Tim glowered as he watched the two of them. They stood over by the window, drinks in hand, talking. He seemed to be doing most of the talking as she simply stood beside him, smiling and nodding. The small brushes of his hand against her arm did not go unnoticed by Tim and it only made the envy inside of him grow. His hand tightened around his own plastic cup and, without even realizing it, he crumpled the cup, causing tears in the plastic. He tossed it into the garbage can with more force than was necessary and exited the squad room where the NCIS Winter Party was talking place. He found an empty observation room and decided it was a good place to sulk.

Stupid Agent Winters with his stupid perfect hair and stupid whiter than humanly possible teeth. Everything had been going fine for Tim before that guy arrived. He and Ziva had a nice, flirtatious, rapport with one another, though it never went beyond friendly teasing. They were beginning to car pool with one another in an effort to save gas and were occasionally going out after work to grab a drink or a bite to eat. They never got intimate and they'd hardly ever touched each other – minus a friendly hug or a playful shove – but Tim still couldn't help but feel like they were slowly moving beyond friendship into a new territory of their relationship, one that may ultimately lead to something a bit more romantic.

Two weeks ago, a new agent had been transferred in from California. Agent Ray Winters was given the desk directly behind Ziva. Tim caught the agent peeking over the divider and looking over the Mossad officer appreciatively.

"Can I help you?" Ziva had asked, not missing a beat.

Winters had been taken aback for a moment, but soon regained his composure. "I was just admiring the view," he told her. From most guys that would have sounded sleazy, but from him it sounded sincere and almost sweet. Winters leaned over and offered his hand out. "I'm Agent Winters. Transferred from California."

Ziva cocked her head, examining the man, before placing her own hand inside of his. "Ziva David. Mossad liaison."

With that one hand shake Tim had felt his heart crumble from inside. It's not that he was in love with Ziva…well, not yet. He had a feeling, though, that he was liable to fall in love with her at any moment. Why had this man been sent to stand in his way?

Within two days, Ziva and Winters had dinner plans. Tim watched as Ziva had meticulously applied make-up that night, using a tiny compact mirror and the light of her desk lamp. She'd changed into a skirt and heels, showing off her shapely legs. Tim had never realized how often she wore pants until she'd walked back from the bathroom and he'd become entranced by those legs.

"What do you think, McGee?" Tim's head, which he'd grumpily laid in his arms, had snapped up and he'd seen Ziva approaching his desk. "Does my make-up look okay or is it a bit too much?"

Tim wanted to mention how the eye shadow really brought out the lovely brown of her eyes and how the eye liner gave her a sensuous look. He wanted to tell her that the dark pink hue that was spread across her lips only made him want to kiss her more and that he felt the light dusting of blush on her cheeks really complimented her beautiful bone structure. He had wanted to let her know that, even without make-up, she was an amazingly beautiful woman. "It's nice," he'd said simply, hoping the darkness of the office would hide the blushing of his own cheeks as he said it.

Tim had felt Ziva slipping through his fingers and falling right into the arms of this new man who seemed to be flawless in every way. Tim was very self-aware and, while he had certainly grown over the last few years and become more sure of himself, he knew that when it was all said and done he was a computer geek. How could he possibly compete with a guy like Agent Winters?

Tim leaned his back against the glass, his hands shoved in his pockets, his head hung low. He missed seeing Ziva before and after work. He missed their shared rides and their after work get-togethers (as much as he wished he could, he couldn't really call them "dates"). Most of all, he missed being able to look at her and talk to her without jealousy bubbling up inside of him.

The door squeaked open. "McGee?"

Tim didn't have to look up. He recognized that voice. "Hey, Ziva."

"Why are you alone in here?"

He shrugged. "Just needed some time to myself."

Ziva shut the door behind her and leaned back against it. "Do you mind if I join you?" Again, he shrugged, not giving a definite answer. Ziva sighed in frustration. "McGee, are you going to tell me what is the matter or am I going to have to use other means of extracting the information?"

"It's nothing," he snapped. "Nothing you can help with."

"And how do you know what I can and cannot help with? I have contacts all over who can get almost anything done for me."

"Ziva, it's one of those things that just can't be changed."

There was a bout of silence. "I see," Ziva said slowly. "Love, yes?"

"Not 'love,' but….almost love, I guess."

"And who is she?"

"Does it matter? She's found someone else anyway."

"Abby?"

"No, Ziva, not Abby."

"Well, she is obviously someone at this party or else you would be out there and not in here. It's not that new brunette that Tony was drooling over, is it?"

"It's you, Ziva! Okay? It's you." Tim let out a slow exhale, willing himself not to look her in the eye. "I told you, there is nothing you can do about it."

"McGee, what do you mean there is nothing I can do about it? If it is me you are trying to woo then there is much I can do to help you. But who is this someone else you say I've found."

"Ziva, you don't have to be nice to me out of pity. I know you like Agent Winters."

"Agent Winters?"

"And I don't blame you, Ziva. If I were a woman, I'd choose him too. I mean, he's athletic and charming and attractive and strong. He's suave and funny and sociable. I'll bet he doesn't spend his nights playing stupid online games and doesn't have stupid nicknames like 'Elf Lord.' He's a girl's dream man, Ziva. He's everything I'm not."

Ziva didn't immediately say anything. Instead, she slowly walked over to where Tim stood. Gently taking his chin in her hand, she forced him to look her in the eyes. "You are correct, McGee. Winters is everything you are not." She released Tim's chin stood beside him. "He is egotistical and self-centered and thoughtless. He is rude and obnoxious and boorish and brainless. He looks at me the way a dog looks at a piece of meat and he has wandering hands. So yes, Timothy, he is everything you're not."

Tim looked at her, surprised by what she had just told him. "But…but you're always smiling when the two of you talk. You look so happy and so amused by him."

"McGee, isn't there an American saying that is something like 'If I do not laugh, I will cry'?" Tim nodded, indicating that she was correct. She grinned impishly. "Well, if I do not laugh, I will kill him. I smile to suppress my violent urges when I see him. The man infuriates me more than almost any man I've ever met and to have him sitting directly behind me…" she trailed off, her eyes flashing in anger. "Our one date was more time spent with him than I would ever wish on anyone."

"So you aren't interested in him?"

"Not as a potential boyfriend, no. As a target for knife throwing, I am certainly interested in him."

Tim blushed, realizing how wrong he'd been about it all. It suddenly dawned on him that he'd admitted his own feelings to Ziva. "Oh…well, then I guess…uh…" His stuttering was ceased by Ziva's lips pressed against his. He closed his eyes, enjoying the sensation of her lips and feel of her body against his.

Ziva pulled away, their lips smacking apart with a puckering sound. "You know, McGee, you should have told me how you felt. You do not need to be afraid of me." When Tim gave her a skeptical look, she rolled her eyes, adding, "I do not hurt my friends, McGee, especially not friends like you." She pushed up off her heels and kissed him once again. "And do not be so hard on yourself, McGee. You have so much more to offer a woman than you seem to think. Not all women are looking for the same thing in a man."

Tim could feel his heart rate increasing. "And what, uh, exactly are you looking for?"

Ziva grinned playfully. "Everything you are."

* * *

**AN:** Syrupy-sweet, yes, I know! Sorry for the initial formatting problems (somehow a chunk of it got cut out). It has been remedied and thank you to the two reviewers who pointed it out to me!


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